Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
