had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
