Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
