Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Operation Purity has been aborted
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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