there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
