So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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