the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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