mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You took a bar mat shot.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
