So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
