walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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