After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
