Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
