Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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