Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
