I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
