I'm eating all of the evidence.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
