we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
