I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
