Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
