I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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