I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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