how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
