I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
