it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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