Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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