My sheets look like a crime scene.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
