we have officially lost it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
