He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
