walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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