If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
