I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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