everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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