i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you will always have a special place in my vag
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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