between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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