WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
