She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
