you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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