She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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