Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
