I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
