love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
