Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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