I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
