remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
