And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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