Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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