Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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