Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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