mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I want to be your penis for a week.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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