god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
