VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
