how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
