She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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