Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
