pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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