If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
