...so i touched it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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