I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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