he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
