He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize