Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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