And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
