I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
