No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
