hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
