What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
