I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize