Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
