okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
