Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
