i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
